Jittery...

I'm feeling all nervous and jittery today. Tomorrow, I'm going to Trendy Seaside City University to meet with some faculty members who teach the postgraduate course in psychotherapy/counselling that I'm hoping to begin in October and I'm so! incredibly! nervous! about it. It's just an informal meeting for me to find out more and to ask questions, but, of course, I want to make a good impression before I send my finalized application in during the next couple of weeks. I've read lots and done plenty of preparation, so I think I've got some useful questions to ask etc. Plus, they've already told me that my academic qualifications are more than adequate for admission to the course. But, I'm still so nervous it's silly.

I think partly it's because I'm really excited about training in this area, and partly because all the previous times I've been involved in recruitment stuff (either as a prospective or current student) it's been in a law department. I studied law for over 7 years in two different universities, and although I'm so glad to finally move away from it, it feels very odd (but good odd) to be starting afresh in a completely different field. Although I've wanted to do this for sometime now, and think that I could be very good at it, I feel just as anxious and full of anticipation as I did the first time I went to my undergrad uni to visit the law department. I haven't really thought about that day since then, but today the memories of it are as vivid as if it had been yesterday. I felt very small in a very big place, and very scared of doing or saying the wrong thing. Of course, I'm eight years older now and generally have much more self-confidence, so I wonder why I'm so nervous of sounding silly, so nervous of spilling coffee down myself or of dropping something (and then hitting my head on a desk when I bend down to get it!)? I think it's because tomorrow is important to me. It might not be that important to the faculty members that meet me, it might not even influence their opinion of me very much, it might not even seem important to me a month from now... but it's a big step towards closing the door on my legal studies and the tentative beginnings of my move towards a new career. So, please keep everything crossed for me tomorrow...