I didn't sleep. I didn't blog.

I didn't blog yesterday. I didn't sleep last night. The lack of one was not caused by the lack of the other, but they were both caused by a total rollercoaster of emotions and events that took over my brain. On Tuesday, I blogged that I had seen an amazing flat in TSC. Yesterday I went to see 7 more properties, and in the evening LLH and I revisited one of them (which had awesome sea views) and also the flat from the day before. LLH hadn't seen it before and I could tell immediately that he loved it as much as I did (although, being more lawyerly and reserved, he keeps a better grip on emotion than I do!). We spent about 40 minutes just wandering around and chatting with the agent. On the way home it was pretty clear that our minds were already made up. For us, it just stands immeasurably ahead of the other 15 properties I viewed. I can't imagine walking in anywhere else that just feels so right.

Practically, yes, it does need some work (but that's reflected in the price), and when you buy a property that's nearly 200 years old, you don't expect it to be perfect. In some ways that is part of the charm, although as our current home was only built five years ago (and we've owned it since then), it does take a little getting used to. It's in a beautiful Regency square conservation area, just metres from the sea and a short walk from the city centre.

But, before I get too dreamy (okay, I'm dreamy already, but am trying to keep my head), LLH and I need to secure the flat. We put in an offer this morning, which was accepted after an agonising couple of hours. That's great, but, of course, the show's not over until contracts are exchanged. As we haven't sold our house yet, we need a little time, but don't want others to be able to put competing offers in. The vendor agreed to a lock-out agreement whereby we make a deposit and the property will be removed from the market for a set period, during which we need to get an offer on our house. It all feels so stressful and overwhelming. I think I'll feel a bit better once the lock-out agreement is set (fortunately LLH's firm are on to this...yay for being married to a lawyer!), but I won't really rest easy until we exchange contracts and have a buyer. I want to get excited and make plans, but I can't just yet.

This whole thing has made me realize that I don't do well with stressful situations that are outside my control. If it's an exam or presentation or interview, or basically anything that I can prepare for and control to some extent, that's okay. Sure, I get nervous and freak out, but I feel that my success or failure is in large part dependent upon my own actions. With house-buying this is just not the case, and it makes me feel completely helpless, despite the fact I'm doing all I can to move things along. Yes, I do need to just chill-out, but that's easier said than done.

So, I guess I'd better start cleaning our house again for potential viewings *sigh*. I'm so SICK of cleaning, and it seems to be never ending. Plus, we're going away for the weekend tomorrow night, so it must all be perfect again before we leave. And why is it that our houseplants are all starting to die just when we need them to look good? Are the plants plotting against me?! Will the garden plants follow suit? Arrggghh.

Need coffee. Need chocolate. Now. :)